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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915654">Metanoia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mammonies/pseuds/mammonies'>mammonies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A3! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Curses, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Gen, He loves you pls just remember him, M/M, Reincarnation, Star-crossed, Who is he? Who knows, wink wonk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:07:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mammonies/pseuds/mammonies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You wake up in your mansion, confused and unable to remember anything. A mysterious man offers you his aid in regaining your memories of yourself and him.</p><p>With his help, you begin to unravel the mysteries of the MANKAI mansion while reclaiming the memories of your past lives and present.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Furuichi Sakyou/Reader, Fushimi Omi/Reader, Hyoudou Juuza/Reader, Mikage Hisoka/Reader, Miyoshi Kazunari/Reader, Sakuma Sakuya/Reader, Settsu Banri/Reader, Sumeragi Tenma/Reader, Usui Masumi/Reader, Utsuki Chikage/Reader, Yukishiro Azuma/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: ????</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh you're awake!" You heard a smooth male voice call out to you when you woke up. You wearily sat up and rubbed your blurry eyes to take in your surroundings.</p><p>You recognized the mansion as the place you had just purchased recently. The rumours of its curse had made no difference to you when you bought it but looking at it now, you wondered if they were actually true. </p><p>"Who are you?" you managed to get out before breaking out into a coughing fit due to how parched your throat was. The man placed a goblet of water in your hand and you downed it quickly before thanking him. </p><p>He gave a slight smile before he asked you to stop joking around. "What's my name darling?" he asked.</p><p>You.... couldn't remember.... And even if you did know him, how were you supposed to recognize him when he was wearing a veil that covered everything but his lips?</p><p>His smile grew strained as he realized you weren't joking. He seemed familiar to you but you really couldn't place how you knew him or how he knew you. </p><p>In fact, you couldn't remember anything except your name and that you had purchased this mansion. </p><p>In you panic, you didn't realise he was offering you his hand until he waved his hands in front of you. </p><p>"I know it's hard not knowing anything but we can go reclaim your memories if you'd like" he said gently and you were compelled to believe in him. You took his hand he walked you to your first destination - The master bedroom. </p><p>"This is where it all started" He said as you both stood in front of a door which looked like it had seen better days. There were suspicious stains near the walls, and the door seemed to covered in dried bloody hand prints. </p><p>You felt a wave of nostalgia.</p><p>"So, shall we see the first tale?" he asked as he opened the door. The door to the tale that started it all. </p><p>The tragic story of you and Azuma Yukishiro. A tale of a life that you couldn't protect.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I recently played The House of Fata Morgana and decided to write this to get all the pain out of my system. I hope you enjoy reading it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Door 1: Azuma Yukishiro</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1110</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the first life you met in, Azuma was nobility. A man of high status, a man with riches most women would kill for. You were arranged to marry him in a few weeks but you didn't even have an idea about the way he looked or behaved. </p><p>But you weren't dense, you could see the pity in the maids' eyes. "A heretic" "Cursed" "Ugly" were some of the words used to describe him. But you held some hope in your heart that they were mistaken. </p><p>And how mistaken they were. </p><p>After your marriage you were to go to his mansion in which he lived alone, excluding the servants of course. </p><p>On your first day there, the way he took your hand to help you down from the carriage already had your heart fluttering but it just stopped when you looked at him. </p><p>Cursed? Ugly? No, he was ethereal. He had an otherworldly charm to him that seemed to draw you in, hook, line and sinker. </p><p>"Hello my lady, welcome to the Yukishiro family home" he said and you forgot how to speak for a minute. His voice was velvety smooth and you were melting. </p><p>After you clumsily introduced yourself, you followed him into his mansion, and your future home. Even with rumours of the place being haunted, the house was buzzing with activity. Servants cleaning up, gardeners tending to the flowers in the gorgeous garden. It was everything you wanted. </p><p>When Azuma noticed your lingering stare at the camellias in bloom, he plucked one you place in your intricately styled hair. And you couldn't help but feel like you were incredibly lucky to have been married off to such a gentleman. </p><p>Oh, my dear, if only you had known the things to come. </p><p>During your time in the manor, you gradually realized that even if the servants treated Azuma with the utmost respect, they definitely were not loyal. You knew they spoke behind his back, fueling the rumours of heresy and him being cursed. </p><p>You always felt angry when you heard them accuse him of being a witch just because of the colour of his hair and eyes. You knew how gentle and kind he was and you were determined to protect his image. </p><p>Azuma, on the other hand was a wonderful husband. He didn't treat you like the men of that time treated their wives, like a doll. He treated you as an equal, he let you do things that were considered 'manly' like sculpture. </p><p>Everyday after dinner, Azuma would hold you hand as you took a stroll in the gardens. He took you to every theatre performance he could and treated you better than princes from fairytales.</p><p>You truly felt like you had found your own slice of heaven in that manor, in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>It was a beautiful, sunny day when it all went wrong. It started out the same as any day, you slowly wriggled out of Azuma's arms before kissing him on the forehead. </p><p>You passed by a newly hired maid who seemed nervous but you paid no attention to it, thinking that she just was anxious about her first day on the job. You smiled at her before making your way to the carriage waiting for you. </p><p>You had ordered a special camellia shaped hairpin for Azuma for you loved the way the flower looked in his silky smooth hair. It was your one year anniversary and you were hoping to surprise him with it. </p><p>When you reached the mansion, you were surprised to hear that Azuma still hadn't woken up since he'd usually wake up immediately after you but you thought he might just be tired. You decided to just take a little nap with him and opened the door to your bedroom. </p><p>But what you opened was a gate to hell. Your own personal hell. </p><p>The room was covered in red. There was red on the sheets, there was red on the bed. Azuma's silky silver hair was now coloured to a shade of deep crimson. You ran to his body, which was now cold, a sharp contrast to the warmth of his arms just an hour ago. </p><p>You saw the knife plunged into his chest and you slowly pulled it out. At first, in your misery, you didn't notice the maid slowly begin to slip away from the entrance of the room, a small smile playing on her lips before it faded when she heard you voice. </p><p>"Stop" </p><p>Your voice was cold, devoid of any emotion. In the moment when you held the lifeless husk of the man you loved, all the kindness and joy in you had withered up and died. </p><p>You considered plunging the same knife into her throat but ultimately decided against it. You were not going to sully his blood by mixing it with hers. You would make her suffer. </p><p>As you walked towards her, she tried to justify herself. "It was a witch mistress, a heretic. Please, what I did was right". Her pleas fell on deaf years are you felt your heart grow colder with each word she spoke. </p><p>Not only did she snub the life of the man you loved, she also had the audacity to refer to him as an "it".The next thing you knew, your hands were around her neck and soon, you had become a murderer too. </p><p>Something primal in you snapped the moment you saw the light in her eyes vanish. You were going to end it all. You were going to make every single one of them pay for what they had said about him. </p><p>An hour and a fury fueled rampage later, the beige walls of the house were red. Every single wall was now painted with the blood of the men and women that worked in that godforsaken manor. </p><p>"Come to me" You could hear the voice of you beloved coming from the terrace. You frantically climbed up the numerous flights of stairs and you could see him and his ethereal smile just beyond the safety railing. </p><p>You didn't hesitate for a second before running into his arms.</p><p> </p><p>"What a tragedy" whispered one of the knights as they took in the sight of the Yukishiro manor. "I heard that Lord Azuma's partner snapped one day and decided to take everyone with them to hell" said the other knight. </p><p>They couldn't help but gasp at the sight waiting for them in the garden. The image was morbidly fascinating. As they observed saw your cold body in the middle of camellias stained red, surround by pure white camellias, they were utterly speechless. A squeak coming from the shed snapped them out of their reverie.</p><p>A frightened servant crawled out of the shed, crying in relief when he noticed the knights standing nearby. </p><p>To everyone's shock and horror, the man fell as he tried to cross the threshold of the mansion, blood seeping from his nose and mouth. The sole survivor had inexplicably dropped dead in front of them and there was nothing they could do for him.</p><p>It seems like the tale of the cursed mansion just began then. </p><p>So my dear, are you willing to see this to the end?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Door 1: Aftermath/ Door 2: Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: ????</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your knees buckled when you felt all the memories of your time with Azuma came back to you. The man, who you now just referred to as The Guide, quickly held on to your arm as you held your head in your hands.</p><p>You wanted to scream to high hell about the injustice that had happened to you when all you wanted was a quiet life with Azuma but all that came out of your mouth was a whimper. The Guide slowly helped you up on your feet and you couldn't help but feel grateful that he was there. </p><p>"Was that you, are you Azuma?" you asked and he just smiled mysteriously. "You'll find out" were the only words offered to you before he was guiding you to your next destination. </p><p>The kitchen. </p><p>"..." </p><p>It looked like a battlefield. There was dried up blood on the walls, there was blood on the floor, there was a human silhouette in the middle of the dining table. You didn't want to think about the implications of that part. </p><p>The Guide covered your eyes for a few seconds and when he removed his hands, the scene had changed. </p><p>And so began your tale with Juza Hyodo. A tale of regrets and bloodshed</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Door 2: Juza Hyodo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1169</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To be honest, you were scared of him when you first saw him. His stern, sharp eyes did nothing to comfort you when you first met him. </p><p>First impressions really don't do any justice to some people huh? </p><p>Juza was a sweetheart. He was clumsy and awkward around you but that was to be expected, since it was an arranged marriage of convenience. But when he averted his eyes while offering his hand to you when you were about to get on the carriage, you couldn't help but feel like it was going to be just fine. </p><p>And how blissful your marriage was, for the first few years at the very least. You found out that he had a sweet tooth and it was very endearing. He might have been a man of few words but he treated you like a princess. You really wouldn't have it any other way. </p><p>The mansion you lived in was well maintained but you had heard what happened to the previous owners. It really was a tragedy. </p><p>Of course, all good things had to come to an end and that meant bad news for you and Juza. </p><p>It was a stormy day, when you heard frantic knocking on the door. You and Juza were in the library, with him working and you just admiring his visage from the side, pretending to read a book. </p><p>A maid came rushing in to tell you that some merchants were there and they seemed to be very injured. You and Juza immediately got up to go check on them, following the maid into the living area. </p><p>The merchants there told you a story about how they were international traders and were minding their business while travelling through the woods when bandits attacked them, stripped them of all their wares and injured them severely. You felt a sense of great pity for them so you offered them a place to stay the night. </p><p>You had the maids prepare rooms for them. "The chef went home to his parents" Juza reminded you when you were about to go to the chef's quarters. And so you decided to just make whatever you could and walked into the kitchen. Juza followed you and just stood behind you awkwardly, since he didn't know how to cook but you appreciated that he wanted to stay near you. </p><p>You wish he hadn't stayed. </p><p>Everything happened so quickly that you don't think you could've stopped it even if you knew it a few seconds earlier. </p><p>The door burst open and the 'merchants' quickly surrounded you, brandishing large weapons. They had the weapons pointed towards you and you were cornered. Juza quickly stood in front of you and spread his arms to protect you. You were stuck in between the counter and him. </p><p>"If money is what you need—" Juza began, assuming that they were just garden variety thieves but oh, how wrong he was. You were suspicious when you had heart one of their voices but now you were certain. The man pointing his sword at Juza was not a thief, it was the man you were previously betrothed to. </p><p>Your family had broken off the arrangement when they found out that his sister had married a common man. "That's not a good look for this family" was what they said.</p><p>Since your family was one of the most respected ones in the town, no other family wanted to associate with his family anymore. This had caused his father to leave the house and his mother to completely lose it. In a way, your family had destroyed his. In a way, you had destroyed him. </p><p>You opened your mouth to try and reason with him but he wasn't ready to hear a word. He ended up using his sword. </p><p>With an anguished scream, you held Juza in your arms. The man you loved was dying and there was nothing you could do. With a whisper of his love for you, his body went limp. </p><p>But they weren't done. They handcuffed you to the sink and made you watch as every one of your trusted maids and manservants were skewered in front of you. And finally when the kitchen floor's white tiles were painted red and every inhabitant of the mansion except you was gone, they removed your handcuffs and dragged you to the terrace. </p><p>You could see the blooming lycoris as they made you stand on the edge. </p><p>And with leering grins, they shoved.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Door 2: Aftermath/ Door 3: Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: ????</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Guide quickly grabbed you when your knees buckled. You were so immersed that you almost fell along with your past self. You didn't need to touch your face to know that you were crying. </p><p>Even if you had been prepared to view another tragedy, you felt sharp pangs of regret and sorrow when you remembered the man that lost his life because of you. You missed him and it hurt like hell. </p><p>You felt The Guide's hand rubbing your back and you cried harder. "It's okay, let it out" he whispered and you felt your heart break because you still weren't any closer to knowing his identity when he clearly cared about you. </p><p>Before you could apologise to him for being a burden, or ask him any questions about his identity, he took your hand and began to guide you to your next destination. </p><p>The Storeroom</p><p>The minute you saw the door, you felt a sudden urge to run away. You didn't even know what this room was like but it gave you the chills. You looked at The Guide uncertainly and he squeezed your hand once before opening the door. </p><p>And so you both watched your life with Tenma Sumeragi. A tale of love and madness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Door 3: Tenma Sumeragi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1200</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were a doll maker. Every doll you made were of the best quality and you never left anything to be desired. Often times, rich folks from neighbouring cities would come to your shop for the dolls you made. </p><p>One such person was Tenma Sumeragi. </p><p>He had walked into your shop looking uncertain and slowly looked around the shop. He clearly didn't know what he wanted so you decided to step in. </p><p>Tenma looked startled when he saw you approach him but calmed down when you introduced yourself as the owner and maker of the dolls. He sheepishly asked you if you could pick out a doll for his sister as she was pregnant. You happily helped him pick a doll and he was on his way. </p><p>That's where it usually ends. </p><p>But to your surprise, he visited the next week. Then the next. And the next. By the 5th week, you had started to wrap up a new type of doll ready for him to pick up. Not only had he become a regular at your shop, he always got you a gift when he came. </p><p>And it didn't really take you long to fall in love with each other. Tenma was pretty popular with the ladies but whenever he was approached by any of them he'd always ignore them, opting to spend time with you.</p><p>You should've seen the warning signs from a mile away but alas, you were blinded by love. For starters, why would his pregnant sister need so many dolls?</p><p>After a few months of seeing each other, he proposed to you and you had agreed, elated. Surprisingly, his parents weren't bothered by the fact that you weren't nobility or of high status unlike them and welcomed you as his bride with open arms. Your family had been ecstatic too, that you were going to be married into a respectable family like the Sumeragi family. </p><p>Blinded by love, you didn't realise that his parents had mentioned in passing that he was an only child. And by the time you did, it was too late. </p><p>After a grand marriage ceremony, you both got into a carriage which would take you to your new home. You were a little freaked out when you realized that it was the infamous mansion where the previous owners had died in unnatural and tragic ways but Tenma was quick to quell your fears saying that he had it renovated from the inside. You still did feel uneasy but brushed it off thinking that it was just nerves.</p><p>You should've trusted your instincts. </p><p>The first few weeks were spent in a blissful bubble. You had decided to close your shop for a few weeks to spend some time with Tenma. But when you told Tenma that you were going to open the shop after a few days, he looked pretty upset. So you decided to extend your vacation by 1 - 2 weeks. </p><p>Your confusion over his opposition to reopen your shop began to become anger when he vehemently refused to let you go outside the house. You couldn't find even a trace of the clumsy, tsundere yet endearing man you had fallen in love with. </p><p>It only got worse from there. His paranoia about you going outside the house began to take over his sanity. He fired all the servants and maids except one chef and one maid. He put bars over all the windows and barbed wires on the fences. </p><p>At this point, Tenma mumbled about keeping you safe while he was asleep and you couldn't do anything but argue and watch as he slipped away from reality. </p><p>One day, you had woken up before him and were sitting in the garden, trying to understand what actually happened to make him snap in such a way. It hadn't been a sudden snap, it was pretty gradual but you still weren't able to stop it. </p><p>When Tenma woke up and didn't find you next to him, he freaked. He came into the garden, looking like the picture of panic and dragged you to the storeroom while you tried to explain that you were simply just admiring the flowers. All he could yell you was "I have to save you". </p><p>You were shocked when he opened the storehouse. The shelves were lined with dolls. The dolls that he had bought from you. "W-Why—" your voice trembled. </p><p>Tenma smiled but it wasn't the smile that you had fallen in love with. It was more cruel and made you feel cold all over. </p><p>"Oh honey, didn't you realise that I have no sister?" he asked with a mocking smile. And it was now that it dawned on you that there was no one claiming to be his sister in attendance at you wedding. </p><p>The blood drained from your face when Tenma tied your ankles to a shelf and your hand behind your back and sat next to you. He then ended up explaining that he had seen you once in your shop and it had been love at first sight. He had made an elaborate excuse to come in and talk to you. He explained that he considered himself very lucky that you had ended up liking him too. He was never going to let you go. Never going to let you leave him. </p><p>Your voice was trembling but you knew you had to know when you asked him why he doubted you. He told you that when he was planning to ask you out, his chef had told him that you were seeing other men and that he had seen you around town. This had caused Tenma to quickly decide to make up an elaborate lie about a pregnant sister to get close to you quickly. </p><p>He said that the maid had witnessed you meeting with other men even when you were with him. Tenma ignored your cries when you pleaded to him about your innocence. </p><p>And yet, he kissed you on your cheek left you in there. You cried for hours over your cruel fate. You wanted to desperately hate him but you couldn't help but love him anyways and you cried over it. </p><p>For the next few months, the last maid working in the mansion brought you breakfast and lunch since Tenma had work. She always glances filled with hatred. He would bring dinner and would eat with you in the storeroom. It was silent and he never let you speak and you were never able to convince him of your innocence.</p><p>On one stormy evening, your willpower was finally sapped. You decided that you weren't going to suffer any longer. You couldn't bring yourself to hate him completely and you loathed yourself for that. Tenma had left you hands untied the precious night when he realized that you weren't going to run away. You grabbed a doll from the lower shelf and shattered it. You could've escaped by cutting yourself free but you were tired. So, so tired. </p><p>That day, you took your life with something that you had created. </p><p>When Tenma saw your cold body in the storeroom, he didnt hesitate before grabbing the piece of porcelain in your hand to end his own life. </p><p>When the maid walked into the gut wrenching sight in the storeroom, she smiled. </p><p>The chef and maid stood over your corpse. She whispered "I hope you don't take it personally, we just wanted revenge against the Sumeragis and you ended up getting caught in the crossfire".</p><p>And with the chef in tow, she left the mansion, with matching grins on their faces.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Door 2: Aftermath/ Door 3: Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: ????</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You didn't even realise that you were crying till you felt The Guide's hands wipe off your tears gently. You only sobbed harder, since you could feel the hopelessness that you had felt in that life. </p><p>Why did it have to go wrong? Why did you have to suffer in every life? Why did every man you ever loved have to suffer in a way? These questions were swirling in your head but you knew you'd have to see it to the end if you ever wanted an answer. </p><p>"Where's the next location?" you asked The Guide, surprised by how steady you sounded compared to how to felt. "Are you sure you want to immediately continue this?" he asked, worried. You firmly nodded. </p><p>"I'll answer a few questions of yours after we take a look at the next door" The Guide said. You hoped that you would be able to ask him questions that would help you remember your own true identity or even his true identity. </p><p>"Can I ask you anything?" You asked and he shook his head. "I will not be able to answer any questions that are supposed to be memories recovered by you and only you" He said. He also added that he will be able to answer questions related to the mansion itself.</p><p>You were determined to get to the bottom of this. </p><p>And with him leading, you reached a door through which you could faintly hear something. ....Was that music...? "Welcome to the ballroom" The Guide said as he gently pushed the door open. </p><p>And thus began your tale with Banri Settsu. A marriage life that was ended before it even started.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Door 4: Banri Settsu</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1239</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Banri had been your best friend since childhood. You both had grown up in the same area, your families were similarly ranked and you had known him since you were 3. Your families were more than relieved that you both were so close since it would be easier to set up a marriage between the both of you when you were of age. </p><p>When you were both young, you had injured yourself while playing in the garden. And while fat tears rolled down your cheeks, Banri was panicking, not knowing how to console you. And so he picked up a flower, made it into a little ring and put it on your finger. "How will you marry me if you cry over silly things?" He had asked you and it was very effective in stopping your tears. </p><p>Your early teenage years were bliss. Being young and free, the both of you would get into a lot of trouble in the name of fun but with Banri, you felt invincible. It was almost as if you were joined at the hip. </p><p>And before you both knew it, you were teenagers in love. The both of you were terrified about the reactions from your families that you had decided to keep your relationship under wraps till you felt like the time was right. </p><p>But before you could tell your parents that you loved Banri, they informed you that they had set up a marriage with 'an eligible young bachelor who would be a perfect match for you'. </p><p>And as you got ready to meet the man you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with, you could feel the tears gathering in your eyes. You had so many plans for your future with Banri but your father wasn't ready to listen to a single word against the prospective wedding. </p><p>And as you sat in the parlor with your head hung low, waiting for the guests to arrive, you almost felt like you heard Banri's voice nearby. </p><p>Wait.... It was Banri's voice! </p><p>When your head snapped up, Banri was standing at the entrance of the room, a watery smile on his face. Realisation dawned upon you that the man you loved and your arranged fiance were the same person and you couldn't help but laugh through your tears too. </p><p>If only happiness could last forever.</p><p>The next few months passed by like a breeze. The planning of the wedding was time consuming and tiring but your excitement about finally being with Banri was stronger. Of course, you had your minor disagreements about the flower arrangements or the food to be served but generally, life was sweet as honey. </p><p> </p><p>It was finally the day of your wedding. The ballroom was beautifully decorated. The wedding ceremony itself passed by without a hitch. It was a ceremony filled with happiness and tears, and as cliche as it was, it was a a sweet romance between childhood friends.</p><p>And as you both swayed in the middle of the room to the sweet melody that was being played, surrounded by your friends and family, tragedy struck. Like it always does at this mansion. </p><p>A terrified looking servant ran in screaming and before anyone could make out the words that were being said, he suddenly fell to his knees. Banri quickly shielded your eyes when he realized that there was sword impaling the servant. </p><p>The men that walked in with weapons ended up surrounding everyone in attendance. With a kiss to your forehead, Banri stepped forward, effectively shielding you with his body and asked them what their demand was. </p><p>You both recognized them as the people of the town that always talked about starting a revolution and overthrowing the nobility. "Let's kill all the heirs!" were the regular drinker cheers that you've heard during your time in town.</p><p>The men were clear in their intentions. It was either Banri and you that went with them or they slaughter everyone in the room. When Banri's eyes flickered towards yours, you nodded resolutely. You weren't going to sacrifice others for your safety. </p><p>You pushed all the people behind you and stood in front of them, truly looking like the future of your families as you protected them. You could hear your parents begging you to not do this but you were both firm in your stance.</p><p>"Good choice" was all that was said before red seeped through your wedding clothes. </p><p>And in one day, two families lost their heirs.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i woke up in a cold sweat realizing that i used 'wife' instead of gender neutral terms and i had to edit it oof</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Door 4: Aftermath/ Door 5: Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: ????</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This time, you were prepared for the onslaught of memories to crush you and you only stumbled a little. Breathing heavily, you mourned the loss of Banri. You knew the events had occurred a long time ago, but the wounds still felt fresh. </p><p>You looked over at the Guide who was waiting for you to recover. "So..." You started, "Will you answer my questions now?" </p><p>"Of course" he said. "Anything that I have the authority over, of course" </p><p>Your first question was immediate. "Why is more that half your face obscured?" you asked, because how were you supposed to remember him if you can't see most of his features? The Guide made a confused sound before touching his face. "There's nothing covering it" He said. </p><p>"..." You both stared at each other. The Guide let out a sad chuckle when he seemed to realise what the issue was. "You can't see my face because you haven't unveiled the circumstances behind your curse" He said. That.... made no sense but alright. There were more pressing issues to address either way. </p><p>"Then... where are we?" you asked. "This manor resides in an alternate space" he says as if that explained everything. "...What?" you asked in a brilliant show of intelligence and he smiled. "To put it shortly, this is the realm is called Mankai and it's a place where lost memories reside. The only way in is if you have been reincarnated without your previous memories and the only way out is reclaiming the memories." He continued " Of course, just reincarnation doesn't guarantee you a trip to Mankai. Someone has to make a desperate wish that you remember for you to visit" </p><p>"And... that someone is you?" You ask, still reeling from all the information he's laying down. He shakes his head "You might have known me in a previous life but here, I'm just a guide. I don't have the power for such a powerful wish." He sighs. "One of the rules of the manor is that the person who wishes for your return will also have to forget till you remember." He says.</p><p>"Do you know anything about the person who wished for me?" you ask and he opens his mouth to answer when you feel the room shake. You quickly cling onto his arm and hope that the ceiling doesn't collapse on you. "Apparently I'm not supposed to answer that" he says and you realize that it was the manor's way of a warning. </p><p>"I'll answer more of your questions after we look through more doors" The Guide says and you nod. You take his hand and you both head to the observation tower. </p><p>And here begins your tale with Masumi Usui. A tale of a life that resembled a fairy tale while it lasted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Door 5: Masumi Usui</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1305</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In an isolated mountain top, sat a large mansion owned by the Usui family. The Usui family was known to be the biggest dealer in international weapon dealings and so were the target of many attacks from disgruntled locals and many others. And so fearing the safety of their precious son, Masumi, they constructed an observation tower that could only be reached through a secret stairway from inside the mansion. </p><p>The observation tower was a depressing place. There was a single window that was too high to stare out of and there was basically nothing to do in there. And in their efforts to keep Masumi, they disregarded his interests to lock him in there. Anything he wanted would have to be written on a slip of paper and slid under the door and it would be delivered to him by one of the advisors of the family. </p><p>Masumi had slowly gotten used to the isolation that had been brought about by his parents' urge to keep him safe but he still resented that he couldn't have what normal people his age had. He sometimes heard the sounds of teenagers hanging out or of kids playing nearby and dreamed of the days he could've had if he weren't the Usui heir. </p><p>One day, he had particularly become extremely bored as he had run out of books to read and the next set were due to arrive the next day. And so he picked up a piece of the paper left for him in the room and wrote a simple "Hello" on it along with his address. He then tied it to the leg of a crow that had flown in through the window and let it fly. </p><p>Even though Masumi had done this for the sole purpose of quelling his boredom for a little while, a reply had arrived the next day along with a pigeon that almost looked intelligent. And so began Masumi's correspondence with you. </p><p>You were a knight in training. Known to be one of the best in the squad, you were given almost no time for any hobbies or personal interests. And so, writing to your mystery penpal was one of the highlights of your life at this point. You talked to him about your training and everyday life since he seemed to not get out much. And he would talk about how his family ran a business and everyday matters and yet you both found each other incredibly interesting. </p><p> </p><p>It had been 3 years since you both had started exchanging letters and you still wrote to each other. Surprisingly, he was still in the tower and had accepted his fate. You had become one of the top knights of the country and had your own squad to train. And so one day, when you were given a task of guarding the son of a noble family, you were kinda surprised that they wanted you of all people for that task. </p><p>Apparently, the family had to travel to a nearby country to negotiate business but feared for their son's life too much to take him along with them. And so you set out to an isolated mansion in a remote part of the town. And as your horse neared the manor, you felt a sense of deja vu, like you already knew about this manor even if you had never been there. </p><p>And when you reached the entrance, a member of the family had come out to greet you and give you instructions about your duties for the next week. You finally realized why you felt so familiar with this place. It was the Usui manor. </p><p>You couldn't control your excitement as you ran up the observation tower's stairs as soon as they left. You quickly knocked on the door and announced that you were his bodyguard for the week. Masumi's reply was pretty unenthusiastic but you had expected that since he probably has had many bodyguards during his stay in the tower. And so you quickly slid the letter that you were supposed to send him under the door. </p><p>You could hear him open the letter from the other side of the door. You could also hear him gasp and quickly unlock the door. You both crashed into each other as soon as the door swung open as you both met for the first time in person. </p><p>The next 6 days of your stay could be considered the best days of both your short lives. You wish you had taken more precautions. Taken a few other knights to the manor as it could've prevented what happened on the 7th day of your stay in the Usui mansion. </p><p>Neither you nor Masumi had heard of the growing tensions between the rulers of the country and the Usui family. And how this blissful unawareness came back to bite you both. The ruling family hadn't been happy about weapons trading with other other countries for a long time and took the Usui family's absence from the manor as a chance to take the heir's life. </p><p>The 7th day had been a clear Sunday. You and Masumi had a nice start, having breakfast together when you heard knocking on the mansion door. With a quick kiss to Masumi's forehead, you immediately ran down to check on the door.</p><p>You were very confused when you saw knights from your order standing outside, wearing full armour. You raised a questioning eyebrow and they handed you a letter which seemed to be an official order directly from the rulers. You could feel yourself break into a cold sweat as you read the order for assassination of Masumi. </p><p>You looked up and saw the pitying yet determined gazes of your fellow knights and knew that you would not be able to convince them to stay down. And so you quickly ran back into the tower with the knights hot on your heels. You quickly locked the door and locked eyes with a very confused Masumi. You explained what had happened and asked him to hide in the closet while you fought them off. </p><p>Masumi tried to argue with you but ultimately, you won that fight and he hid himself in the closet with tears running down his face. The next fight for you however was going to prove lethal. You gave him a final determined smile and walked out the door to face the order head on.</p><p>You took on hoards of knights since most if them were of the lower ranks and won. And as you won your final duel with the last knight standing from the order, you could feel something pierce through your stomach. It was one of the knights that you hadn't completely incapacitated. Yes, it was a cowardly way to take you out, but it sure was effective. </p><p>You fell to your knees as you saw the knight peek into the observation tower. They thankfully didn't check thoroughly and walked away to search for Masumi but not before giving you a final glance of pity and a short "I'm sorry that it had to end like this". You closed your eyes with thoughts of Masumi swirling in your head. </p><p>Masumi had been waiting in the closet for hours. He finally cracked the door open a little to make sure the area was clear before he started to search for you. The smell of iron hit him in waves and he could feel his heart start racing since he could recognize the putrid smell of blood. </p><p>He quickly ran down the stairs and stumbled upon a sight that resembled his worst nightmares. He rushed over to your body and tried to shake you awake to no avail. He sat and screamed over your body till his voice went hoarse. Regret and guilt filled his mind and heart since it was ultimately his life that had been saved in exchange of yours. </p><p>You had been the one object of his affections. He had nothing but hatred for the world when he got into contact with you. He screamed over the fact that the one person that tethered him to the world and kept him going had now lost their life for him. </p><p>With one last kiss to your cold lips, he pulled out the sword from your body and plunged it into his own heart. If he couldn't be with you in life, he would rather join you in death.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>henlo</p><p>i'm back from the dead! uni has been kicking my ass like holy shit who wakes up at 6 am for lectures </p><p>i'm sorry if there are more typos than usual since i couldn't even re-read this hhhh</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Door 5: Aftermath/ Door 6: Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: ????</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At this point, you'd think that you would be completely desensitized to all the violence that happened to the past you and your lovers but as you squatted on the floor and wiped your blurry eyes, you realized how powerless you were. You could feel The Guide's hands running through your hair in an attempt to soothe you and you clung to him, sobbing. </p><p>"Why?!" You let out an anguished wail. "The world never gave you a break, huh?" The Guide whispered as he held you, waiting for tour shoulders to stop shaking. You looked up at him through blurry eyes, hoping that atleast now you would be able to see his face but alas, the veil still hadn't lifted. </p><p>With his support, you stood up on shaky legs but kept holding his hand, since that was the only thing that tethered you right now. </p><p>"Do... you want to take a break?" The Guide asked hesitantly. "There are a few more places to visit and it would be wise to stop now" he continues. But you weren't having any of that now. You wanted to remember as soon as possible. You needed to remember as soon as possible. And so, you shook you head and asked him to lead you to the next location.</p><p>"Come then" he said, squeezing your hand to reassure you. And he led you to the front door of the mansion. "Are we going out?" you asked, confused since you would have to reclaim all you memories for you to be able to leave. "There's a gate beyond this door" he explained. "It would be pretty inconvenient if we couldn't reclaim your next set of memories just because of that rule and the mankai realm extends to all the places where something significant might have occurred in your life" He finished. You just nodded, dazed by the barrage of information that was thrown in your face. </p><p>By the time you processed everything, you were already at your destination, The Main Gate. </p><p>It was a tall and imposing gate and you felt a looming dread, the fear coiled around you and you wanted to run away. The Guide, sensing your distress, held your hand tighter as he led you. </p><p>And at the main gate began your story of honor and loyalty with Chikage Utsuki and Hisoka Mikage. And at the main gate, the story ended.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Door 6: Chikage Utsuki and Hisoka Mikage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1376</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> There were 3 </em>
</p><p>You stood at the main gate, tapping your foot impatiently. They were late AGAIN. As you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to come with an excuse to tell your leader about why Hisoka and Chikage were late again, you could hear the sound of horses galloping towards you. After getting off, Chikage and Hisoka walked towards you after shrugging off their cloaks and before they could open their mouths, you knocked them both on the head. </p><p>"What was that for?" Chikage grumbled and Hisoka just rubbed his head with a pout. "That's for being late and getting me worried for the 12th time this month" you deadpan and he nodded as if to say "fair enough". And the three of you dashed into the mansion to report.</p><p>To put everything in perspective, the three of you were part of the rebels, going against the aristocracy. For the past year, the entire country was in trouble. There was a massive drought and famine, with hundreds of the lower classes perishing every single day. But the rich did nothing to alleviate it. And that's what brought your team together. </p><p>You were all hoping to accomplish the same task: steal from the rich and help the poor. An almost twisted imitation of Robin Hood. You were camping in an abandoned mansion which was said to be haunted to avoid any wandering eyes. April, December and June, named after the seasons that you were recruited in, the three of you had become inseparable.</p><p>
  <em> And there were 3 </em>
</p><p>The newest mission was supposed to be a cakewalk compared to the previous missions that you had been assigned. </p><p>Then why were you clutching a bleeding Hisoka? Why could you hear Chikage's anguished yells as he fought against the target's guards? Why were you crying over one of your best friend's fatal wounds? </p><p>You heard Chikage's voice getting strained behind you and realized that it wasn't the time to be crying. You quickly bandaged his wound with a piece of your cloak and decided to extract your revenge alongside Chikage. </p><p>30 minutes and 7 dead guards later, you were rushing back to the mansion with Hisoka draped over Chikage's back. The tears were blurring your vision as the sight of Hisoka bleeding out flashed in front of your eyes. And when you reached the mansion, you quickly took Hisoka from Chikage's back since he had been supporting him for the entire ride. </p><p>And as you began to run into the mansion you could hear a faint "Wait" from Hisoka. You paused for a second and looked down at him, still in your arms. "What's wrong?" Chikage asked and Hisoka gave a faint smile. "April, June, be happy, ..... and I love you" he whispered and his eyes fluttered shut. </p><p>"December?" Chikage called, his voice shaky. "December... Hisoka...?" You screamed and sank to your knees when he didn't respond. Chikage began shaking him, hoping that he would open his eyes but to no avail. You both raced to check his pulse but your worlds came crashing down when you couldn't feel anything. And as you both held the the cold body of your best friend, you both solemnly promised a payback. </p><p>
  <em>And there were 2 </em>
</p><p>You were sitting in the garden, polishing your blades when you heard your name being called by one of the other members in your team. It was one of the sons of aristocracy who were disgusted by the way their parents were behaving and had run away to join your team. </p><p>"It was April who set you up" he whispered. "I heard him talking with the knights of the state" he said and you felt like time had stopped. "No.. He... He wouldn't do that!" you yelled at him and he shook his head with pity at you. "Think about it. The only people who knew about this mission were April, December and you. You didn't leak it, December is dead, so who does that leave?" he asked and you felt your world crash for the second time. </p><p>And that's what brought you here, standing in the garden, weapons pointed at each other, hostility clear in your stances unlike the times you sparred as practice. "I can't believe you got December killed" Chikage spat at you and you raised an eyebrow. "I can't believe you have the nerve to accuse me after what you've done" you countered and charged at him. </p><p>You had been fighting for over an hour, with neither of you even landing a scratch on the other due to how matched your skills were. "Yui told me you betrayed us" You screamed and he slipped up, halting with wide eyes, causing you to hold your blade against his neck. "....But Yui told me <em> you </em> betrayed us" he whispered and that was the moment you both realized that you had been set up. </p><p>You heard a noise behind you and before you could turn, Chikage pulled you behind him, effectively shielding you with his body. You heard the sickening sound of skin being pierced and took a fighting stance since you'd have to protect yourself and Chikage. </p><p>"RUN!" Chikage yelled as he held his wound and continued fighting. "But....Chikage...you—" you stuttered and tried to move towards the attacker. "Run and get help, we're not in top condition" he screamed and you nodded. He was right, you had been fighting for an hour with no respite, you couldn't possible take down the attacker in your condition. </p><p>You ran as fast as you could and in your haste, you didn't hear Chikage's parting words: "June, I'm sorry. I love you".</p><p>The entire mansion was weirdly empty and you felt the blood drain from your face when you remembered that everyone else was out on a mission. You ran back to the garden and saw that there were 2 bodies on the ground. And as you got closer, you realized that Chikage was one of them. Before you could mourn the loss of your closest confidant, you saw few figures come into sight. </p><p>"You guys...." you whispered in horror and betrayal as the children of the nobles came into sight. "You really thought we'd betray out lineage for some group of rebels?" one of them sneered at you. And as much as you would have fought them on any other day, you knew you couldn't match them today and fighting them would be a death wish. You got up to run when one of them slashed your cheek with a dagger. </p><p>
  <em> And there was 1 </em>
</p><p>After a brief struggle, you ran as fast as your legs could carry you to the main gate. You could escape once you got onto your horse and so you pushed yourself to the maximum. And just as you saw the gate in the distance, you saw black spots appear in your vision. "Poison..." Why didn't you think of that? </p><p>"April, December I'm coming" </p><p>
  <em>And there were none. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Door 6: Aftermath/ Door 7: Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: ????</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You reached for the Guide's hand instinctively when felt the wave of memories wash over you but ended up grasping at air. You turned to look at where he was standing but he wasn't there anymore. You could feel your heart rate increase as you started to panic. The Guide was the only one you had been depending on and now he was gone. </p><p>You ran down the hallways that you had already passed but there was not a single trace of him. "Hello?" A voice called out and you quickly turned around to see a very pretty woman with a friendly smile walk towards you. Before you could say a word, she began talking. "I'm Izumi Tachibana! I'm the guardian of this mansion!" she said. "Uh.... do you happen to know where the Guide went?" you asked hesitantly. Her face instantly fell. "Is... anything the matter?" you asked. </p><p>"You see.... there are no guides in this mansion..." she says, almost nervously. Wait...WHAT?  "There was a man claiming to be a guide who left me around to open the doors" you said. Izumi looked around nervously and said "Come with me, let's talk" </p><p>She took your hand in hers and you felt a little safer. You walked down the winding corridors and reached a room that looked out of place in this mansion. Instead of old, dilapidated wood with dubious marks, the door looked polished and new. Izumi opened the door and led you into a room that looked cozy and lived-in. At her gesture, you sat down on one of the couches and she took her seat next to you. </p><p>"About the guide..." she started "This mansion only allows the people who made their wish and the object of their wish inside." she said. "So... the guide was the one who wished to see me again?" you asked and she nodded. "That's precisely it. And have you noticed anything strange about the lifetimes that you've witnessed? Anything that doesn't add up in your memory?" Izumi asked and you thought back to all the memories you recovered. </p><p>You thought about the first memory that you had reclaimed. Azuma.... You could vividly remember everything that had happened with him but when you tried to remember his face, you felt a sharp pain in your head. The same happened with Juza, Banri, Tenma, Masumi, Hisoka and Chikage. You looked up at Izumi and she put a sympathetic hand on your shoulder. She seemed to know why exactly this was happening. </p><p>"Why...?" You choked out and she squeezed your shoulder before speaking. "There were only two people in all the stories. The Guide has been in this mansion, waiting for you for so long that he has lost himself. And since he was the one showing you the memories, he made up a few characters. Only one of them is him but he doesn't know which it is." </p><p>....What did she just say? </p><p>Before you could ask her what that even meant, she continued. "You have a few more memories to reclaim, and I'll help you through it. And when we're done, I hope you'll be able to identify who wanted you back and how long he has waited for you." You just take the hand she offers you without a word because of how shell shocked you were. </p><p>And with Izumi, you went to the attic to relive a life you believed to have spent with Sakuya Sakuma.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay to clarify: The lives you see are real. But only one of the people you see in the memories is real, since the person who wanted to see you again has forgotten himself. So after a few more of the memories, you'll have to figure out who the Guide is which in turn will let you know who you spent all those lives with.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Door 7: Sakuya Sakuma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1451</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sakuya had always been passed around throughout his life. With no family, and a home to call his own, he always was hopeful that the next family would want him to stay. But after being passed to every person related to him, he was now on his way to your mansion, as a hired help with his payment being shelter and food. </p><p>Sakuya was feeling very nervous as he sat in the carriage which was to take him to your manor. He had heard of the Cherry Blossom Manor in passing whispers. You were always described as stoic, cold and merciless by your servants who sometimes came to town on errands. From "Hey, have you heard about the Blossom Manor's heir?", "They didn't even hesitate to throw away a cup of tea because it was brewed for a minute too long" to "I think they're a witch and use blood to keep their appearance the same", he had heard way too many nasty rumours to feel safe. </p><p>A sudden stop of the carriage snapped Sakuya out of his thoughts. He looked out to see the manor, looking hauntingly beautiful with a person standing at the gate who looked just as hauntingly charming as the manor. He felt a shove at his back by the driver and he almost tripped as he got off the carriage but was quickly caught by you. The driver looked surprised that you bothered helping Sakuya and almost cowered in fear when he saw your piercing glare aimed at him. </p><p>"Explain your reasoning for doing that" You spoke in a calm manner, but Sakuya actually could feel the fear that the driver felt. "It's okay! It probably was an accident!" Sakuya exclaimed in an attempt to help the man out. You felt your face soften a little at how pure Sakuya was before it hardened again when you looked at the man who tried to harm someone just because he wanted to on a whim. "Find another place for employment" You said in a voice which left no room for arguments and walked back into the manor with Sakuya following you inside like a lost puppy. </p><p>That had been Sakuya's first interaction with you. </p><p>Sakuya really liked working in your mansion. All the tasks you gave him were pretty simple, like watering the plants in your room and making your bed and you treated him pretty well. You didn't speak a lot, but always indulged him when he tried to talk to you but that also caused envy in the other staff. He could hear the maids whispering "Why does he get to be treated this well by them when we have worked her longer?" as he walked by them in the corridors. </p><p>Sakuya really admired you. He had watched you argue and win against merchants and traders, their poor attempts to reason overpricing lost as you laid down precise calculations. He watched you turn down pushy, rich men who tried to court you without even batting an eye, sometimes giving snide responses without a sliver of fear. He admired your independence and intelligence, but the one thing he never saw you do was show any emotion. </p><p>He first witnessed you being 'unreasonable' when you asked the maid to pour an entire pitcher of juice in the drain because it tasted 'too sweet' but you hadn't even taken a sip out of the glass that had been served to you. "I'll drink it" he had said and reached out to grab the glass from your hand but you had recoiled like he had burned you and dropped it onto the pristine rug. But before he could apologise, you just asked the maid to clean it before leaving the room. Sakuya quickly ran after you when he saw the maid giving him a death glare, presumably because he'd made her job harder. </p><p>When he caught up to you as you walked up the stair to your study, he asked you "Why?" to which you had given a small smile and shake of your head before leaving. </p><p>Sakuya also noticed that your health was slowly but surely deteriorating. He could see the bags under your eyes and your cheeks which were glowing healthily when he first arrived were now looking sunken. You still were cold and detached to everyone but for some reason, you seemed very lonely to him, now that he knew your lifestyle. </p><p>He knew he was taking a risk by asking this but he went ahead anyways. "Uhm.. If you don't mind, could you teach me how to read?" he had asked, his cheeks tinged red. You had given him a smile that seemed more genuine than others and agreed and he let out a sigh of relief. He didn't see you squeal in your room at how cute he looked as he asked you that but that was something only you and the walls of your room would know. </p><p>And from that day on, you spent every evening and most of your free time teaching Sakuya how to read and write. His admiration for you had multiplied tenfold as you taught him in such a clear way that he could read most words in 2 weeks. You seemed more at ease, and the tense look on your face seemed to have softened too and he was glad that his presence could help you, even if it was just a little. </p><p>The one thing that was constant in his days at the mansion was the monthly visit from your cousins and relatives. You were always a good host, leaving nothing to wish for in food and drinks but he had noticed that you never spoke more than a few sentences, and spoke only when you were explicitly spoken to. </p><p>It had been one of those days where they had come to visit when he heard something weird. He saw one of your cousins whispering to a maid, who he recognized as the one who always gets you your food and drinks when you'd decide to eat in the study. "They always refuse to drink it!" the maid had exclaimed and the cousin who seemed agitated said "Then mix it in something else! I don't pay you for your incompetence". </p><p>Sakuya went pale as he finally connected why you refused to trust anyone in the manor. Your own family was trying to poison you. He rushed over to the room in which you sat, reading a book as your relatives gossiped with each other, looking like you'd rather be anywhere than here with them. </p><p>He entered the room quietly and called out to you and you had quickly excused yourself and walked out into the corridor with him. Sakuya was going to talk first but seeing you after understanding what you've been going through for years made him tear up as he stood infront of you. You raised a concerned eyebrow and wiped his tears and that was the breaking point for him. He hugged you tight as he sobbed against your shoulder, crying for you in a sense. </p><p>When he had calmed down a little, you cupped his cheeks and asked "What's wrong? Did anyone say or do anything to you?" to which he looked sadder if that was possible. "You knew, didn't you?" he asked "You knew that your food and drinks were being poisoned" to which you just smiled sadly. </p><p>"Come, let's take a walk" you said and walked out into the garden. "My parents passed when I was 3 in a shipwreck" You started and Sakuya grabbed your hand. You gave it a quick squeeze before continuing. "I lived with my grandmother who was the sole owner of this mansion and all our heirlooms. And when she died, I was 18 and inherited everything. My uncles, aunts and cousins didn't get  a penny from them and from then on it has been like this". </p><p>You looked up at the sky and smiled, and Sakuya could see a fire in your eyes. "I've held on for so long because I didn't want them to inherit my inheritance since I had no one to pass it on to". And Sakuya stood with you, with your hand holding his as he swore to himself that he'll do his best to protect you. But he didn't know that he was a few years too late. </p><p>It happened a few days after he learned more about you. You had been eating lunch when you suddenly dropped your spoon and began coughing. Sakuya rushed towards you and held you by the shoulders as your chest heaved after your coughing fit. And it only got worse. When you moved the handkerchief held to your mouth, you could see fresh blood on it and he grew pale. But before he could voice his concerns, he felt you go limp in his arms. </p><p>As he paced around in your room, anxiously waiting for the doctor, he saw your eyes flutter open. When he rushed to your bedside, you held his hands and pressed an envelope in his hands. "I'll just nap for a little longer, make sure to read the letter" You had said and kissed his knuckles before closing your eyes. </p><p>Sakuya opened the envelope and began reading the first letter when he felt your grip on his hands loosen. </p><p>
  <em>Dear Sakuya, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I've heard of the rumours that have been spread about me and I've never really cared about them. But I wanted to express my deep gratitude to you for staying by my side and being a friend when I was so incredibly alone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It really is ironic that I have to say this to you through letter when all I wanted was to speak to you face to face. It's unfortunate that I have to leave now that I finally wanted to live but I guess that's life for you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I just wanted to tell you that your presence in my life made the last few months brighter and livelier and I love you.  </em>
</p><p>Sakuya's hands shook as he dropped the envelope and letters and began shaking you. But it was too late and he knew it. Ad he say beside your bed and mourned, he heard the rustling of the papers that had been dropped to the floor. He slowly picked the second letter and unfolded it to see that it wasn't actually a letter, it was a will. A will that had left everything that you had owned to him. </p><p>And he fell to his knees, mourning the words that had been left unsaid, mourning how helpless he was in your time of need. And even the howling wind outside couldn't overpower his wails from inside your room. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey have you heard about the Blossom Manor's new heir? " </p><p>"Yes! I heard that he's cold and merciless! I personally think he killed the previous heir" </p><p>"I heard he he didn't even hesitate to throw away a cup of tea because it brewed for a minute too long"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>okay so: there's around 2-3 boys left for which i planned BUT i'm still confused on how to end metanoia. i originally had one of them chosen as the guide and wrote with him in mind. But i don't want to leave the others open-ended so i just wanna know if there are any other boys you want me to write and if i should give them each an ending instead of leaving everyone except one hanging. </p><p>please let me know what you'd prefer and i'd like to thank you for reading metanoia once again. it really means a lot to me and i hope you like the ending ^^</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Interlude 2.0</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hey there! i haven't abandoned this fic, or the other ones. i recently hurt my wrist and was unable to type anything out for a while but I'll be posting regularly soon! I've planned out the chapters and the ending its gonna take so I hope you'll like it!</p><p>thank you for taking the time to read this, it means a lot to me ^^</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Door 7: Aftermath/ Door 8: Omi Fushimi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1542</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This time, you didn't wait for the pain to subside, or the shock to wear off. You had a feeling that if you didn't hurry up, you might lose <em> him </em> forever. </p><p>Izumi didn't argue with your reasoning and just took the lead and took you to the next destination. </p><p>The wine cellar. </p><p> </p><p>The loud chatter in the dining hall made you shift uncomfortably. The room was full of "potential suitors" for you and it was a mess. Every person there was atleast 15 years older than you and you wanted to scream at the way they eyed you. You heard the door open and turned around, expecting another one of these sleazy men who looked at you like you were prey, but were pleasantly surprised to see a young man, a very handsome one at that, walk in. </p><p>You took this opportunity to excuse yourself from this one man who kept telling you that he'll "keep you happy" and walked over to greet new guy. "Hello, I'm Omi Fushimi, a pleasure to meet you" he said with a smile so charming that you almost fainted when you introduced yourself. As you began to introduce yourself, you felt a hand on your back and flinched which wasn't missed by Omi. </p><p>The person who touched you almost pissed themself when Omi, with his towering frame stepped in front of you and stared them down. You were no damsel in distress but it was nice to have someone else step in and help you out sometimes. </p><p>Without another word, Omi took your hand and ran, and you kept up, confused but happy to leave the place. You could hear your sister scream at you to come back but you didn't bother looking back. You took a minute to catch your breath when you reached the garden and looked at Omi who smiled at you and said "You look like you weren't having a good time, so let's take a breather here". At this point, you knew that if you had to choose anyone from this party, it would be him. </p><p>When the party was over, you were reluctant to part from him but he had smiled and promised you that he will meet you again. And when your parents asked you if you had finally chosen anyone, you didn't hesitate telling them that you had chosen the youngest son of the Fushimi family and to say that they were overjoyed would be an understatement. </p><p>After a discussion with your parents, who agreed that it was a good choice, you made your way up the stairs to your room when your path was blocked by your step-sister. You had never gotten on well with her, solely due to the fact that you were the first in line to take over the family business and she wasn't. You really wanted a good sibling relationship with here but she just wasn't willing to get along with you. And so, you gave her a polite smile before walking around her to go to your room when she quickly caught your wrist before you could slip away. </p><p>Mentally sighing, you prepared yourself for another spiel of "I deserve it more than you, why were you chosen?!" but were shocked to hear a quiet "I'm so sorry". Assuming that it was for the way she had treated you over the years, you smiled and gave her hug which she returned with shaky hands. "I've gotten engaged too, to the eldest of the Fushimi family" she said and you congratulated her before excusing yourself. </p><p> </p><p>And soon, it was the day on which you'll be meeting Omi again, this time to confirm your engagement. As cliche as it was, you could feel butterflies in your stomach, fluttering with excitement and nervousness. But all that dissipated when you saw the warm smile that greeted you when you saw him. And while you hesitated to go to him in front of your parents and his, he had no qualms in just walking over to you and kissing the back of your hand. </p><p>You tripped over your words and stuttered with a bright red face as he laughed at you and you were sure that this was the best decision of your life. </p><p>"I don't think we need to debate any further after witnessing this" your father laughed and Omi's parents nodded in agreement with a smile. And just like that, you were engaged to the person you liked, which to be fair was very uncommon in your time. "The two of you can spend some time in the garden" Your mother said, "We still have to talk about your sister's engagement". And so you left them there and went away with your fiance. </p><p> </p><p>Time passed quickly after that, your engagement ceremony, wedding and honeymoon all passed by in a blur and it was finally time for you to return and take your place as the next head of the family. Even if you were the youngest of the family, you had been chosen as the heir just like how Omi had been chosen as the heir to the Fushimi family despite him being the youngest.  </p><p>The younger version of you would've never believed you if you told them that life could be so blissful. </p><p><em>His eyes</em> </p><p>Everytime he looked at you, you could see the same adoration that mirrored yours. Waking up every morning next to him, as he rubbed his bleary eyes before greeting you was almost an out of body experience. </p><p><em>His smile</em> </p><p>No matter how long your days were, his smile lit your day up instantly. Every evening when you arrived home, he'd be waiting for you at the gate with his gentle smile and all the day's exhaustion just melted away. </p><p><em>His arms</em> </p><p>You had found your little slice of heaven in his arms. You had made a habit of making breakfast solely due to the way he would wrap his arms around your waist and bury his face into you neck as you cooked. In his arms, you felt like you were safer than you'd ever been. </p><p> </p><p>It was a beautiful autumn day. It was time for the annual dinner that your parents hosted, where all members of your family and the Fushimi family would gather as a gesture of friendship. You smiled as your carriage pulled up infront of your childhood home. The dinner went just as it always did every year, laughs and stories were shared around the table as everyone dined. </p><p>"Sweetheart, could you get another bottle of wine from the cellar?" your father asked as the last bottle was emptied into his glass. You nodded and got up, with Omi walking with you. You could hear the rest of the table comment on how your marriage was still in the honeymoon phase after 6 years of marriage and you couldn't agree more. </p><p>Your sister excused herself to the washroom while the two of you went to the wine cellar. After looking through the collection of bottles that your father had collected and choosing a few that would go well with the dessert, you reached for the doorknob which didn't budge. And as you and Omi tried to open the very sturdy door, you could hear screams and shattering glass coming from the dining room. When you sunk to you knees helplessly, you felt Omi wrap his arms around you and you closed your eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Almost 2 months later, two bodies were found in the Mankai manor, locked in the wine cellar, positioned in a way that implied that they held each other as their lives slipped away. This in addition to the 12 bodies found in the dining hall pointed solely to the fact that your sister and her husband were the murderers. </p><p><em>Your lives</em><br/>
They were the cost for your happiness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was long overdue, but I've decided to write for a few more characters before i conclude (Sakyo, Homare, Citron for sure and maybe a few others)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Door 8: Aftermath/Door 9: Sakyo Furuichi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1611</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"The basement" You said at the same time as Izumi. "I think I know the last few places" You breathed out and Izumi nodded. "Okay, I'll be here as your tether" she said and you gave her a shaky smile. "Let's get this over with" </p><p>And with that you descended into the basement.</p><hr/><p>He had promised. He had promised that he'd come back home safely and yet, here you were, standing and watching as his casket was lowered with tear filled eyes. You went through the motions of thanking everyone who expressed their condolences but honestly, you couldn't even remember who was in attendance. </p><p>
  <em>Your father had been nothing but an inspiration to you since you were little, a self sufficient businessman who had the ability to conduct civil business with even the Furuichi empire of the south. His charm and wit had helped to establish the family business to the extent that he'd personally go and discuss the business plans with the Furuichis every month. It was a war torn country, with internal disputes being an everyday thing.  The turf wars along with the fight at the border made the country extremely turbulent and yet your father would always visit once a month, with the Furuichis offering complete safety and guard for his visits. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And yet, he had ended up in a crossfire and died to protect the crown prince of the Furuichi kingdom, Sakyo. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>You knew that the Furuichis would send someone told offer their condolences but you didn't expect it to be the crown prince himself. "I'm so sorry about your father, I wish he hadn't tried to protect me" Sakyo had whispered to you when he spoke to you and your shook your head. "He died to protect you, so please live your life as well as you can". </em> </p><p>And that's how you had ended up in the palace, employed there as compensation for what had occurred. You were employed as a gardener, tending to the rose garden alone. It was common knowledge that the garden was the prince's passion project and that no one except himself and the gardener was allowed to tend to it. </p><p>The first time Sakyo walked up to you while you where watering the garden had almost sent you out of the corporal realm. He had tapped you on the shoulder but since you had not heard him approach you, you almost fell, with him awkwardly catching you. It since became a habit for him to take his breaks in the garden while maintaining casual conversation with you. </p><p>You'd first thought that Sakyo would be stuck up, like the crown prince of your country, but watching him feel bad for being unable to help his people further than he already does made you realize that he would be the perfect king. "Who has you standing there, smiling like a lovestruck fool?" Sakyo's voice broke you out of your trance and you blushed, unable to tell him that you were thinking about <em>him</em>. You quickly shook your head and caught up to him, walking with him like usual. </p><p>His attitude changed slightly after that, it's something you wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't spent time with him everyday for the past 2 years. He held doors open for you, and while he'd usually just chide you for not wearing warm clothes if you were cold, he now went out of his way to make you wear his jacket if he even FELT like you were cold. It wasn't an unwelcome change, you were just confused as to what brought that change about. </p><p>The next time Sakyo caught you smiling to yourself in the garden, it was because you were a lovestruck fool. </p><p>You were in trouble. Scratch that, you were <em>utterly</em> screwed. You did the one thing that you really shouldn't have: you fell for the crown prince. Of course, you were determined to take this secret to your grave. But it seemed like Sakyo was determined to break your resolve by just being himself. Whenever you'd catch him smirk, your heart threatened to collapse and you always had to find an excuse to leave so as to not blow the little slice of heaven you had at the moment. </p><p>But unbeknownst to you, your sudden running away and general avoidance of him was breaking his heart. </p><p>It was just another typical day for you, and you were tending to the garden while humming when you heard the tell tale rustling of Sakyo's approach. You turned around to greet him when the words died at the tip of your tongue. He was dressed extravagantly, even more than usual and looked like he was a man on a mission. "Uh... Sakyo...?" was your intelligent response since your brain had shut down as soon as you'd seen him in a cape. "Marry me" he said. </p><p>"Huh....? WAIT WHAT?" you basically screamed into his face and he flinched, taking it as rejection. You were planning to let him assume that you didn't like him back till you heard his dejected voice, "I'm sorry if you do not wish to. I might have read you wrong"as he turned away from you. And you spoke before you had time to think. "I didn't reject you!". Sakyo immediately turned back and took your hand in his, slipping the ring that you hadn't even noticed that he had been holding. </p><p>Things went surprisingly smooth after that. The king and queen were ecstatic that their son had actually found someone that he loved. The people of his country were mostly happy with the news of his engagement, with some people expressing their support for a common person becoming royalty. </p><p>And with your wedding fast approaching, Sakyo was trying to make sure that none of the rebels would be able to ruin your special day. And on the day before your wedding, he decided to set out as usual, surveying the borders with his personal guards. You had a sinking feeling this particular evening but trusted him to come back to you. </p><p>With a kiss on your forehead, he left, a promise made that he would return to you. </p><p><b>And he never kept that promise</b> </p><p>You watched as his casket was lowered into the ground. You had no more tears left to cry. </p><p>With great difficulty, you managed to reach the basement, since you hadn't even looked at food since he passed. All the gifts that he'd given you were stored there, since most of the gifts were too big to keep in your room. The basement's door creaked open and you knew what was coming. There was no way a few untrained rebels would've been able to take down a skilled fighter like Sakyo. It had to be someone from the palace, specifically his guards. </p><p>You closed your eyes. </p><p>
  <em>And they never opened again</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i barely managed to survive my lab finals but here i am, writing angst to vent</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Interlude 3.0</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ahhh I'm so sorry djfjkf</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hey there! <br/>i know i haven't really updated this in the last 2 months and it's because of my finals and the projects i had to submit. <br/>basically i still have 3 finals left and i promise that i'll start posting consistently after i'm done with those.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Door 9: Aftermath/ Door 10: Kazunari</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Year: 1689</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no time for a pity party and you knew it. With Izumi hot on your heels, you ran towards the edge of the garden. You knew the next life was beyond the walls, but the thick fog surrounding the manor thickened, as if in warning to your thoughts about leaving. And yet you went to the very edge, where the fog started. You felt the telltale pull of another life and it started.</p>
<hr/><p>You limped back through the entrance of your town as cheers erupted. Your army had won the first battle of many to come, but you were definitely not in the mood to celebrate. You weren't used to this bloodshed and violence, and had been forced to take the ruling mantle when your parents got attacked and slaughtered in the middle of a peace negotiation with the neighbouring country. It had been a straightforward declaration of war and you would've lost your authority if you hadn't accepted the people's wishes for you to lead the army. </p><p>The combat was the least of your concerns. You had been trained to fight since you could pick a training sword up. The difficult part came from the fact that you had to watch your comrades die, the people who you were trying to defend, fall. </p><p>Tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you watched the distraught expressions of the family of those who didn't make it when they realised their relative wasn't in the lineup. With nothing but sugary condolences and a promise of compensation to offer, all you wanted to do was to hide in your room and never come out. But such simple pleasures were a luxury to you and you had to get your wounds dressed, regroup and return to the battlefield in 2 days. </p><p>After a short and simple speech given at the town square for everyone to hear, you and your trusted advisors returned to the palace to continue planning and strategizing. </p><p>You pinched the bridge of your nose as you heard them argue "We should attack when don't expect" "That's cowardly, we can win honourably!" "Who cares about honour? We have to finish this quickly". The argument died down when you sighed and looked up. "How are we supposed to win if the advisors of a country can't agree on a strategy?" you questioned sharply and they were quick to apologise. "My liege, we will come to an agreement in a few hours, please go and get some rest" . </p><p>Despite their insistence, you couldn't stand being still especially in such a situation so you decided to take a walk through the town, to make note if any grievances faced by the common people. And as you walked through the town, you couldn't help but feel a little proud and very relieved that everyone was doing alright. </p><p>And just as you felt satisfied enough to return to the palace, a scream rang out. As you whipped around, trying to pinpoint the source of the scream, another scream rang out. And another. And it dawned on you, the enemies are attacking, like cowards, before your army could regroup. There were only 15 or so soldiers but you'd have to act quick before more invaded and so you called to close the gates. </p><p>The remaining members of your army, the ones who weren't hurt, had immediately rushed here when they had heard of the attack and you ordered half of them to fight with you while the other half focused on evacuating the area and helping the injured. </p><p>You'd gotten separated from your men, a dangerous move considering that you were fighting 2 trained soldiers at the same time. And just as you subdued one of them, you heard a "Look out!" as something heavy hit the back of your head. </p><p> </p><p>You sat up, groggy with a pounding at the back of your head. And as your vision cleared, you looked around the room you were in. It was unfamiliar. Panic seized you, as the fear of being kept as hostage by the enemies crossed your mind. But before you could jump out of bed and run, a man walked in, with what looked like first aid items in his hands. He looked harmless but you knew better than to trust appearances. You tried to stand up and grab your sword but head spun and you had to sit down. </p><p>"Calm down, my liege, I'm a subject of yours too, I found you battered and bruised in the corner of the street and couldn't leave you there." The man said, and you couldn't help but notice his sunny smile. It was a breath of fresh air to see someone smile like that in the situation that the country was in. You hate to admit it, but that smile almost disarmed you immediately. "I'm Kazunari Miyoshi, and I'm a painter". He introduced himself and smiled that smile again, and you fell. </p><p> </p><p>Dangerous. You were dangerous to his safety and yet like a moth drawn to a flame, he seized every opportunity to meet with you. You swore to yourself that you'd protect that smile. The guards and advisors were getting suspicious. The excuse of fresh air wouldn't work any longer but you still went to meet him. Kazunari called you his muse and you promised to make him the official royal painter once this war was over.  </p><p>A few hours before the next battle, Kazunari came to you, tears in his eyes and a good luck charm in his hand. Your squad watched the interaction curiously, some of them feeling happy, watching you look at ease with someone. He asked you to promise him that you'd come back to him. With a silent promise that you'd come back, you told him you'll try your best and left, gripping the charm almost reverently. You had never wanted to see that smile fade. </p><p> </p><p>Naive. You had been so naive. The battle had been surprisingly easy, the enemy army and only half the strength you'd planned for. But by the time you realised the dirty trick planned, it was too late. By the time you reached the town, it was too late. The opposing soldiers had already taken over, leaving you to watch helplessly as they treated your people, the ones you fought to protect with harsh shoves and leering words. </p><p>The humiliation came not from the loss, since you had fought honorably, but from the fact that you had to compromise your freedom to keep your subjects safe. You had to marry the marry the enemy leader, as a show of defeat and as a symbol of handing your kingdom over. With no say as a prisoner of war  you surrendered yourself to it, in hopes that your people would be treated well. </p><p>Kazunari's teary eyes haunted your nights. The hurt and pain in them as you walked, defeated and handcuffed back to the palace was almost as painful as the predicament you were in now. </p><p> </p><p>2 months into the marriage and you wished you'd taken up the offer to be beheaded. The marriage was purely professional, the leader couldn't make any good decisions. His advisors were greedy, selfish and would give him advice that would only benefit him. Your solace from that wretched life was once again Kazunari, who had been appointed as the royal painter, not because of your insistence or power but because his skill had earned him his fame. </p><p>Kazunari was a blessing. He was a great listener, and meeting with him was the only thing that kept you sane at this point. You were made to be a leader, not a political figurehead like the new leader expected. The disgust you felt at sharing a bed with the monster that slaughtered your friends was always briefly forgotten when you were with Kazunari. </p><p> </p><p>Everything was crumbling to dust. You were seen with Kazunari and now your "dear husband" had banned you from ever meeting with him. Your nights were once again haunted by the sadness in Kazunari's eyes. </p><p>That's how you found yourself on the edge of the cliff, holding the your true love's hand as you looked the man who took away everything from you in the eyes. You knew that he needed you to pretend like this was an amiable alliance, and if you left, your people would not stay quiet under his rule. "This is foolish, come back to the palace" he said. Despite his pretenses of being firm, you could hear the plea in his voice. </p><p>He took a step forward and you leaned back, with a few regrets and a strong sense of satisfaction at the look in his eyes and firm embrace of Kazunari. You wished that you'd told Kazunari that you loved him before he war. You wished that you could've fulfilled your promised to him. You wished that he could've lived on, instead of jumping with you. But most of all, </p><p>You wished that you could see him smile, just one more time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm finally back!!! uni was a ride straight from hell but i managed to survive it jdkdkf.</p><p>i'm really thankful for all the comments, they all made me feel all warm and fuzzy &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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